Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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