Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my shit smells like andre
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
