Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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