well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
do nipples grow back?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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