i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
