just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
