Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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