he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
