i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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