Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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