garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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