People with herpes should wear stickers.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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