trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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