I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
