There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
