im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Threesome in a minivan. New low
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
