Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
