im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
