My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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