if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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