using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
