3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
