Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
