I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
