Your tits are I can't wait for
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
