I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
