What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I cannot find my penis.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Michael Bay diarrhea
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
