so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he thought i was a dude.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
