He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
