another moral hangover. fuck.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
