You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
