I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
