she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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