Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
