are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
