I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
