You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
