I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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