I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
