Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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