And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
