youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
