My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
