Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
