I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
