We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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