I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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