coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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