remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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