question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
