And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
