nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Only a mothe r could love this liver
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
