Please, let me fuck your mom
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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